Since my cat died I felt suicidal , then something else happened.... :'(?

Well my kitty (Lyrik) passed away 3 months ago so it's still kinda recent for the first month I was devastated I didn't know what to do . It felt like my bub took a piece of my heart when he left . Now I didn't feel anger just sadness as he was very sick he had a disease (prolapsing) at first I had no idea what it was then I found out the hard way , Lyrik had prolapsed . His bous were coming out from his behind it wasn't pretty especially for me I bursted into tears when I saw him in that condition 10mins later we rushed to the vet the veterinarian gave us good news and bad news , Good news : He has been fixed and he's fine . Bad news : If this happens again theres no other option but , euthanasia ( put to sleep ) He was fine when we took him home he was dosed up with pain relief so he crashed out on my lap , he was one of a kind he never attacked me , he'd always come to me when I called him , he'd greet me when I got home his purring was loud as a motorboat ( that was his nickname ) I don't know he was just my special little guy . anyway 2 weeks later.. it was mothers day I enjoyed the day i spent the whole day with my mum then we went to my grandmothers house she's very young so she's easy to relate to anyways we were talking to her and while we were talking I noticed my bub didn't greet me I was ok because sometimes he goes out roaming so then I called him he didn't come I was curious and abit worried so I asked my nan " have you seen lyrik , today?" she said "yes , heres around here somewhere.." so after that we went home I went straight to bed feelin' worried . The next came I woke up late and I was very happy then my mum and grandmother came it looked as my mum had been crying her eyes were swollen her make-up was driping . It was obivious something bad had happened I asked calmly what happened? "oh, nothing hunny , nothing" I knew then something had gone very, very wrong .... after awhile I asked "mum, it's not lyrik is it?..." she went silent and started quietly crying "um, I'll tell you later " so we left to go to my nans house again I called for Lyrik shouting "LYRIK ! , LYRIK !" lyrik didn't come , noddy did . (another cat) Mums rushed through the gate seeing me walk over to a cross partially buried in the ground I started crying mum yelled " he's not there , babe" I ran over crying my heart out screaming " where is he?!" he had left to be cremated.. I cried for the rest of the week I didn't go to school because I couldn't concentrate knowing he had sadly died on mothers day my baby left on mothers day.... and also knowing while I was calling him the night before he was buried in the ground :'( now that its been 3months the pain has gradually gone away .. I still miss him but I don't cry since I've also been paying attention to my mums cat noddy he's been with us for 13 years lyriks was with for 2 but still left with such good memories... anyways today is sunday , yesterday was saturday the day my friend and I oh and my mum and stepdad go to the carnival it was going to be a great night but as we were about to leave we got a phone call bearing bad news... My nan had called saying " put your mum on the phone , it's noddy." my mum said hang on I was rushing her but she ignored me then when i mentioned noddys name she snatched the phone off of me and heard what my nan had to say. Later after that phone call we had found out that noddy had been attacked by a dog.. I felt anger and saddening my mum and I began to cry .. but noddy had not passed he was kept in the vet for 2hours he wasn't in pain since he was dosed with pain relief but he was severly injured he had been paralyzed in his two front legs , he had brain trauma (damage) and his lungs had collapsed from the stupid dog shaking him. we went straight to the vet after we recieved the phone call (my friend had come to since her parents went out) we saw noddy his condition was critical he had blood all over his long coat he had lost a tooth and his back leg was spaziming (i don't know the word) we had sometime with him we patted him and talked to him but we were all upset my mum took to heart the most . he looked like he was out of it like he wasn't even there his left pupil was delicated (different shape) but he was still looking at us my mum was crying so much and just asking him please hunny stand up for mummy he meowed and tried to but he couldn't ... after that we were told to make a decision well there wasn't really a choice he had to be euthinised tomorrow morning at 5:30am . In the morning we got up early waiting to go to the vet , as soon as we got there we saw noddy just lying there looking at us like he was in so much pain and agony we spent 2 hours with him we cried 'til our eyes were red then it was time he had to be pu